Sullen

The day started out rainy, which wouldn’t ordinarily be shocking in Seattle, but it made me less excited about doing all of the things that I really needed to do this morning. I went to my office to prepare some things for today’s grocery store demo, and I did these things quickly, but rather than rush off and be a happy demo guy, I directed my attention to preparing web orders for shipping, even though none of them can ship until Monday.

I made it to my demo, a little behind my original planned timeframe, and it went as well as usual, I think. My mind wasn’t quite on task, but things mostly worked out.

When I got home I got very frustrated about something personal and I lost all of my energy. I ate some cake I made late last night, and even the sugar didn’t create the usual rush of endorphines. I just felt hopeless.  I got doubly irritated when I tried to fight with my freezer, putting in uncooperative ice packs that I used to keep milk and candy cold for store demos, and watching them fall out, or finding out that something in the freezer shifted and kept the door from closing. I must have looked a mess when I went to run a quick work-related errand, and I am probably in worse shape now. When I got home, someone parked in my parking space, and I was so irritated I blocked them in. I’m in a mood not much different than when I felt some slight, real or imagined, from my parents when I was a moody teenager. It often took a few days or weeks to recover.

I hope I’m not that bad as an adult. It will ruin me.